Novel query letter round 3

Hello, hello again!

I hope you're all having a great Saturday and up to something fun. Well, I started by day off with a little run and then decided that if I'm going to keep the ball moving on my push to pursue getting some books published I should make headway on my YA novel query letter. I had posted it a while back here and also on some forums and go some good feedback. Mostly that it was too wordy and to cutout a lot of the back story and get to the point. So I started from scratch and hope that this one will meet with me some better success. I sent this one out to some agents and my goal is to keep sending those emails out until something starts to materialize! So, feel free to read my latest revision and as always any input is welcomed!

Dear Agent,

Kendra has her eyes on becoming the next prima ballerina. But, unlike what everyone else may presume she wants to do so on her own merit and not that of her already famous mother. Mother may be the wrong term to use however, as she can count the number of times she has actually seen the woman on her hand. The road she must travel is anything but easy, constantly having to ignore the icy stares of her competitors and subsequent snide remarks, but just as things begin to look promising life takes a sudden turn for the worse. Her beloved grandmother who raised her is in failing health and upon being deemed a has-been her mother bitterly returns home. Struggling to still pursue her dream, Kendra is further plagued by her own insecurities and guilt of abandoning the one person who has always been there for
her and may need her the most now as she lay dying. Given the opportunity to travel abroad and work with one of the most prominent companies world wide, Kendra is still torn between the life she envisions for herself and the one she has seemingly left behind. But she soon learns there may be other prices to pay on the path to success; entrenched in the darker, underbelly of the dance subculture she realizes that everything is not as pretty and whimsical as the lithe dances portray onstage.

DANCING IN THE DARK is a 57,000 word YA manuscript depicting a dancer's journey to becoming a prima ballerina. She must step out of the shadows of her mother's illustrious career and find the confidence to stand on her own. Wrought with inner turmoil, fueled by passive-aggressive competitors, and pressed with the rigors of training, Kendra could fulfill the dream she is chasing or be left just outside the spotlight.

I am currently a freelance writer and am looking for a long-term representation. I appreciate both your time and

Thank you,

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